Following the overdue departure of The Great British Bake Off
to Channel 4 the BBC lost no time in
approaching me to devise a suitable replacement to fill the gap in its weekday
evening schedule. I decided it was an opportunity to raise the cultural
standards at the ailing broadcaster, which have long been in decline, and
developed a proposal for a literary contest- The Great British Write Off. The concept
was an organic development of my recent
ideas for live writing festivals and will 'come as no
surprise' to the thousands of cliché-loving fans of my blog.
National treasure Alan Bennet has agreed to fill
the Mary Berry role, coaching a cohort of hopefuls through a series of gruelling
televised literary exercises. The Paul Hollywood role is still open, as my exasperated
production team has yet to find a sufficiently literate Scouser.
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