Search This Blog

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Illegal project management

Recalling  my recent post on the subject of 'legal' project management, which I discovered to mean the application of formal project management techniques to the practice of law, readers will not be  the least surprised to learn that I have been busy ever since in formulating a breakthrough in crime prevention- illegal project management.
The underlying idea is simple but brilliant.
The world knows that since the introduction of formal project management methods there has not been a single instance of a project that has been delivered on time: all have been horribly mired in mindless overblown bureaucracy. What better then than to encourage the adoption of formal project management techniques by the criminal fraternity? a master-stroke that will lumber the would-be felon with a bureaucratic ball and chain of immense debilitating power.
A moment I did not lose in formulating my new method: PRINCE- Projects In a Criminal Environment. Of course, I took all the necessary steps to ensure that my new creation, PRINCE, was horribly over-complete, with a remorseless focus on the generation of meaningless paperwork, and to promote a hierarchy of PRINCE qualifications, which rewarded the slavish adoption of terminology over any practical skills in larceny. The result has been miraculous- the incidence of  major organised crime has plummeted since the launch of PRINCE, as 'top-end' criminals are now too bogged down in paperwork to pull off any capers. My next development is to be a formal programme management methodology for those with large portfolios of criminal projects, which I plan to launch in Sicily next summer.