Since the news broke this morning about my involvement in the project to develop a genetically engineered 'super spud' I have received several items of correspondence from members of the public seeking clarifications about the properties of the new potato. One is from a celebrity chef. To protect her identity I will refer to her only as 'N'. She asks if there is truth in the rumour that 'super spuds' may be engineered to contain cocaine, and if so will they grow in east-facing window boxes.
The terms of my contract with the Monsanto corporation specifically forbid me from answering the first of N's questions, but an east-facing window-box will be fine as long as the potatoes are well watered. My charitable research foundation expects to launch a new brand of powdered potato, Smashed, early next year.