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Thursday 12 February 2015

The Glib Dems

At the House of Commons this morning a harassed and despondent Nick Clegg entered the gentlemen's toilets as I was washing my hands in preparation for leaving them (the toilets that is, not the hands). I acknowledged his presence with a fractional nod towards his reflection in the glass above my sink. After the customary preliminaries- his fawning, mine perfunctory and austere-  an impromptu consultation took place in which he sought my advice on the best way to counter the portrayal of his party as superficial and ill-prepared which was gaining currency following his decision to publish only the cover of the Lib Dem election manifesto. Looking him squarely in his tear-moistened eye I told him that the only course of action was the obvious one- he should publish the remaining page as soon as possible.

3 comments:

  1. I was privy to that conversation being in the cubicle next to the prophylactic dispenser, in Commons parlance - the Bell weekender - and I don't think Clegg realised that because, as the door shut behind you, he gave out a muted sob saying ' if only we had one'.

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    Replies
    1. Well said! Wish I'd thought to add that. EdS

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    2. But what you both didn't see after you both left was Clegg weeping in the corner, grabbing at a single piece of toilet tissue and pleading with me to try and formulate some ideas, after he asked me for a pen!

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